on Minimalism: Why Less is More
Minimalism is where it’s at, my friends. Life is so much more manageable when you have less shit to keep track of. I wake up to peace and serenity. Everything zen. I truly believe that I will live my life this way until the end of my time here. If you aren’t already sold on the minimalist lifestyle, here are the positives that I have enjoyed:
I wear only black, perfect for all seasons.
I travel lightly. I don’t believe in emotional baggage, or regular baggage, or silly man-purses.
I don’t believe in meetings, calendars, or letting people lecture me about this fake human construct of “being on time.” What the fuck does that even mean!?
I unfollow. I unsubscribe. I opt-out. I drop out. I drop large objects constantly, baby. Try to keep up.
I vacation in places that are simple and modest. Like cornfields!
I reduce. I reuse. I recycle.
I let others pay the brunch bill because I have very, very, very little money. Mo’ money, mo’ problems as they say.
Every ten minutes, I push the nearest OFF button no matter what.
I practice the polite art of saying, “No.” Also, “Nope,” “Hell nah,” and “This is boring, I hate this, byyeeeee.”
I only close my zipper 50%, which saves thirty seconds per month.
To avoid remembering names, I call everyone “Bro”.
Instead of having hundreds of fake “internet friends,” I have zero “real friends”.
For any material possession, I ask, “Is this useful? Is this bitchin’?” If not, I throw it away, whether I own it or not.
I don’t work in a stifling office, at a stifling desk. Nature is my office, my desk, and my bathroom.
I don’t rely on credit cards, checks, paper currency, bitcoin, or bartering. I use nickels. Anything I can’t purchase with a fistful of nickels, I pass on.
Instead of reading a book filled with different words, I re-read the same word as many times as possible.
I only accept jobs that support my minimalism. So far, it’s included one job that lets me live out of a van 5 months out of the year.
Expensive bed frame? Fuck that. Just put the mattress on the floor. It’s fine. It’s rogue.
I end relationships that don’t serve me. So far, that’s all of them.
I don’t use a hundred fancy words when one saucy middle finger will do.